|Its got a BIG GULP STRAW!!!|
So there are those days in which you may think you very well might die with out the aid of a good quad shot or heck just go for the straight IV of caffeine! Today was one of those days. You see I am an addict to the show Deadliest Catch (don't judge) and well I found myself sucked into a full on marathon of this Lil gem of a show last night til wee hours in the a.m. 2:45 to be exact. Add the fact my favorite show was on, and my guy was everly so great and served me wine with the marathon and well one of two things can happen bad headache in the a.m. and lack of sleep makes mama mean :) Have I ever mentioned the fact that I am a self proclaimed caffeine addict? Oh well I am. You see some people go through the whole denial phase of addiction I on the other hand grab the triple shot with both hands and drink like my life depends on it! Ya me and the Adkins folks would not be besti's.
To say the least this morning was well best to be described as torture, with a long WalHell checkout line matched with two screaming toddlers. You get the analogy folks it was not a photo perfect event, and quite frankly I was like Chelsea Handler minus her midget and vodka! So while trying to function on the house coffee aka sorry excuse for the real deal! I mean really ladies when you like your shot o' espresso the whole house coffee is really like being told Sprite is the same as Diet Coke, a lie and a sorry excuse for the real thing. Now my little brain was proclaiming war on me and rightfully so it needed sleep and so did the body, so getting the hair all fantabulous was like looking for a bikini after a four day eat all you want buffet, time consuming and you feel disgusting after the third trip to the dessert line.
Truthfully the getting dressed part was really going to become optional if I thought for one second I could get away with sporting my boxers and tank to the work place. I mean come on I would add some necklaces, a fun ring, heck I would Polly Anna the hell out of the ensemble if it meant I didn't have to get dressed! Alas the world was not going to understand my sweet dress code today so a skirt, heels, top, and jewelry had to happen. (i know, i know, i was bummed too)
Now after what can only be compared to the feeling of getting ready for the Apocalypse it was finally time to get in the car and get my booty to the coffee kiosk which is everly so conveniently at the bottom of the hill from my Lil house(praise be to GOD). Whether I looked as bad as I thought, or maybe it was divine intervention but my coffee gall busted out the most amazing little gift of wonder on me! She handed me my Quad Shot, Massive, Carmel, Vanilla, Macchiato with... pause for effect... A RED BIG GULP STRAW!!!! OK so after laughing til I couldn't breathe, or see through the tears, I thanked my coffee girl and promised her when I make it big I will remember her! I mean come on ladies what coffee girl do you know can take one look at you and give you the cure?
I swear to you this was better than a straight IV of caffeine! First it eliminated the whole needle issue's I have, and it even made it so people didn't question my sanity. Gosh they act like nobody gets their caffeine from IV's sheeesh. But it also frightened me. You see the reality of handing an addict like me the quad shot with a big gulp straw, is well the equivalent of giving a heroine addict the spoon, needle, and heroine all ready to go! To be totally honest it was like being given the key to the White House to a teen and saying go crazy!
I kid you not I went all sorts of productive! I was charming, and delightful at work, I mean heck I had a quad shot with a Big Gulp Straw! Plus to add to my excitement was the UPS gal! I got to totally brag to her about this amazing wonder and she was uber excited too! Not to mention can you imagine what this means for over worked, over tired, mommy's all over the world? You too can solve all your fatigue issues with a massive quad shot in what ever flavor you adore and demand the big gulp straw! This little change in my coffee drinking has opened my little mine up to an instant rush of caffeine, and who doesn't just love that?
There is only one issue. The caffeine high which is divine is also met with well what could be very well be a overdose reaction. Breathe its not like I was itching non-existent bugs off my face, but I did become everyly so light headed, and found myself digging a spoon into a jar of peanut butter to counteract the rush of pure caffeine with protein. Oh don't get all dramatic, just keep a Lil jar of JIFF in your Prada and all will be right in the land of la. I mean hello you can just put that in there with the wet wipes, cheerios, and fruit snacks.
So men, woman, childcare givers', nannies, and those who deal with just day to day life go to your coffee kiosk or shop and order you next coffee of choice but don't forget the Big Gulp straw for those extra hard to get through days!
Get your lil pick me up today! We shall call it the Miss Amber Macchiato with BG Straw!