Friday, May 20, 2011

The Rapture = Get the H out of Dodge!

So not to be a total hater but here is what one must wonder. If we are to in fact get to have a "Get out Jail" card I really want to know where in the ficus my card went?

I mean here is the deal-i-oso, I would think first God would well see the four little mites that he has given to sweet Lil ol me and send me a VIP pass! From the mere fact that I am pretty sure there is going to be no release from the raising of the little clan I have already sent him an I understand your position e-mail and hopefully this will work to my advantage for if he really has chosen to raise up his followers with out in fact including me. Not to be obnoxious but we are all fully aware of the fact that well me and God are tight, tho there may be some different views on decorating, either way one must think that it would be to his advantage to have a gal like me in his corner.

Though the news coverage on the Rapture has been stellar! I mean the New York Times busted out a article on a family being split in two because of the rapture. My favorite part of the article was the fact that they were split due to the kids wanting to go to a party, and the parents sighting the rapture for their reason to say NO! That is creative parenting, I mean heck who knew we could start using evangelical reasons to say no? I for one am going to institute this practice I mean think of the possibility's?

No you can't go outside in the rain, we need to build an Arc first! or No you can not marry her don't you remember the issues with Jezebel? or What do you mean you can't find your brother? You sold him into slavery because you wanted his IPhone didn't you?

To say that this would work with my children well that is still in debate, tho my favorite comment was from Miss ShelbyLee when I said I thought God promised to never flood the earth again since we have more rain coming down for 3 days in a row and she responded "Um, ya so I think that our contract is up mom the Rapture is tomorrow!" That girl she so funny!

The big issue I have with the Rapture is the fact that I am positive Oprah so would have went head on into some super hype on the subject if she herself wasn't already planning her exit. Take that into consideration and you may freak yourself out! No Oprah, AHHHHHHH the world is coming to an end hehehe.

Not to mention I must say I am well a bit jealous of those that are making bank on this Lil deal. I mean heck if I new people would be willing to hand over money for the facts they read on a billboard I so would have capitalized on this! But now I have to hurry and get T-shirts made to sell for how the Rapture didn't happen. I have a few, "So um your still here?", "I know why I am here, What did you do?", "I am catching the next Rapture", oh the possibilities are endless and really I am sure to come up with more hehehe.
I leave you all with good wishes and good luck!